


The Ghosts of Christmas

by lucydwrites



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: thorcid - Freeform, trixya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 08:02:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17055977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucydwrites/pseuds/lucydwrites
Summary: "December was a month to finish and start things. He broke another relationship. He broke a nail. He broke a shoe. He broke a glass. He broke his heart. He wondered when things would stop breaking."





	1. Ghost of Christmas Past

December was the constant reminder that everything needed to end and start all over again. Most people like the month of their birthdays, even with the astrological conspiracies involved.

December though was never good for Jamin.

He was not a superstitious person, but he collected a great amount of bad memories in the month. His birthday was two days ago and this familiar gloomy feeling was taking over. The recent events of his life contributed to the sudden blues. Before putting his Acid Betty attire he checked himself in the mirror of the small dressing room. His skin was still firm, his eyes still big and sparkling blue. No new thirty-five years old lines near sight. Jamin often questioned if he was attractive. He tugged his years and grimaced to the mirror. His mental age was definitely still five. 

Hours later Acid Betty was fierce stumping around the club. She was his shield and most beautiful creation, and yet, he was feeling detached of her. Acid allowed him to never second guess himself and command respect. But even Acid was getting tired. He wondered the exact moment when he lost the fire to perform. To be just an exotic animal for people to take pictures and point it out.

He was having a drink at the bar and observed the queen that was performing. Most of them were doing Christmas numbers and Jamin never cared about that. Acid Betty was in full black Mohawk with touches of peach and pink, wearing a gown that was a mixture of fabrics stitched in a Frankenstein way. On the tail of her dress, the elephant that teenage Jamin drew thinking about his mother. In a sort of way all tenses were there. 

_December was a month to finish and start things._

He broke another relationship. He broke a nail. He broke a shoe. He broke a glass. He broke his heart. He wondered when things would stop breaking. The commotion near the stage caught his attention when a group of queens gathered around someone who had just arrived. Jamin didn’t recognize at first, because the person was surrounded by people making a fuss.

Then Jamin could finally see the whole picture: it was Thorgy out of drag in all his Shane realness. He seemed like he came straight from a classical concert, wearing a tuxedo, butterfly tie and his violin case on the back. His wild dreads all coy and pulled together in a bun. Shane sat on the table surrounded by the other queens and was already calling the waitress for more drinks.

“Betty, they are calling you in five” the bartender warned Jamin making him stop observing the scene.

They haven’t seen each other in months, only stumbled in a few parties. Jamin glanced at Shane cackling with the loud music as background of the scene. 

He could almost hear it anyway.

*

Jamin started performing in a group with other queens that were lip syncing to  _[Christmas Don’t Be Late.](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DwdN_8OlJGs0&t=M2VlMzVkZDAzN2RlZjYzOGQwMzdlNGMzOTc0ZGUyZjFjNzQzYmQyZCxqT3B6QUxsVg%3D%3D&b=t%3Av3LhZRbWmoT9W49tMg51qg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fmulder-isms.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F154061687360%2Fghost-of-christmas-past-thorcid-fanfic-an-this&m=1)_  Before going to stage he changed to a red dress in classic Acid Betty silhouette with structured shoulders and stripped red and white tights. He was making the goofy back vocals with two other queens when Shane made eye contact with him. Shane started clapping peeking directly at him and Jamin felt his cheeks burning under the thick make-up and he didn’t know exactly why. Shane had this weird effect on him.

He was vapor trail in his life. A sort of mystic entity that would grace him for few minutes, few drinks and few stolen kisses in a bathroom stall. Everything about him was a blur and divine. He rolled eyes to Shane pretending not to be interested in his excitement. The other queens of the table were definitely not as excited as him, and they were whispering things to each other as Shane stood up to tip him.

Shane’s face was close to his, focused, his eyes tight behind the round glasses and a big smile.  _Why he was always so friendly?_ He didn’t know where to put the money so Jamin lowered quickly and exclaimed in his ear, his cheek was warm and soft, Jamin’s lip ring brushing his earlobe.

“Stick it in my ass!” Jamin exclaimed as he turned to show Shane the back of his dress. 

It took Shane a few seconds to understand what he wanted as his eyes were locked on Jamin’s ass perfectly featured in the tight dress, until he finally understood that he was supposed to put the money under the fabric. He did it fully laughing and raising his brows in the most suggesting way. Jamin got back to his position and they were still lingering the gaze, until Shane’s attention was stolen from him.

A vapour trail.

*

He was thirty-five. His feet were sore and he shouldn’t be smoking. He was thirty-five and haven’t drink enough water and had to wake up early the next day to work.  The Christmas lights were everywhere outside the street and a queen was performing  _Santa Baby_  inside in a over sexual number. After the performance, he took a quick shower at the dirty bathroom of the club. He felt suffocated by Acid Betty somehow. He felt like she was dissipating, fading in the background of those clubs and that continuing was pointless.

He took a deep puff on the cigarette, he was leaning on a stranger’s car observing people entering and getting out of the club when Shane happened to be one of them. He was clearly very drunk. No tuxedo anymore and the bow tie undone around his collar. He was holding hands with a younger short man that was holding his violin case and the tuxedo.

"The other girls are paying the bill. I think you could use some fresh air. We’re going to your apartment” the man said to Shane and squeezed his hand. They seemed intimate and Jamin was slightly bothered by that.

“Beeeetty!” Shane shouted noticing Jamin and opening his arms for a hug.

Jamin was squeezed by Shane's warm embrace but didn’t hug him back.

“Hey Thorg”

Shane was sitting already on the sidewalk and tapped on the floor indicating for Jamin to sit next to him.

“I decided to quit smoking but you’re looking so good smoking that cigarette with that smudged black eye liner” Shane blurted out.

Jamin chuckled shaking his head and decided to be a bad friend, offering his cigarette to Shane.

“God, I love Christmas” he commented after exhaling the smoke, eyes all dreamy looking at the street. Jamin observed him. His dreads were running wild again and the white dress shirt had the first buttons open, his long forearms showing with the rolled sleeves.

“I’m not a big fan of forced happiness and brain washed capitalism” Jamin answered asking for the cigarette back again. Shane’s saliva tasted like candy.

Shane observed him for a few seconds.

“ _You’re a mean one…Mr. Grinch_!” he sang to Jamin that chuckled softly and put out the rest of the cigarette smashing with his foot.

“I think I’ve never seen you’re looking so…fancy” he commented and Shane checked himself. “Were you in a orchestra gig tonight?”

“Yeah! It’s been ages, I sucked. I didn’t have time to practice at all but I love Christmas music and the money was good so…” he shrugged.

“One day I want to hear you play” Jamin required tapping on his violin case. Shane opened a sweet smile. “Your boyfriend is lucky. It must be nice to have someone playing classical music around the house”

Shane laughed shaking his head. He cleared his throat preparing the answer. 

“Steve is not my boyfriend…We’ve met today actually”

“Oh” Jamin just muttered trying not to sound judgmental.  Shane brushed his shoulder on Jamin’s pushing him aside.

“He’s a fucking cutie. Kinda dumb. He never heard of Mozart.”

“That’s like the first clause in a relationship contract with you. What a deal-breaker” Jamin added in a sarcastic tone.

They kept gazing each other for few seconds. Shane’s face lit by the Christmas lights.

“You should be looking for him. He’s a small one, kinda easy to get lost in the crowd” Jamin broke their trance before Shane’s breath getting too close.

“Shut up!” Shane pinched him and stood on his feet. He stretched a bit taking a deep breath.

“Merry Christmas, Jamin” Shane was suddenly hugging him from behind, his dreads making a curtain on Jamin’s face. Jamin grabbed his arms back.

“Merry Christmas, Shane”

 The few seconds inside his embrace made his Grinch heart grow two inches.

“Come on, Thorgy!”

Other queens appeared on the door and Steve took away his Christmas. Jamin observed the short man eagerly kissing Shane and then hushing to the car. Jamin checked his cell phone with many missed calls from his ex. Few minutes later Beckie picked him up and they were at home.  _A Christmas Carol_  was on TV and they ordered a pizza. When Jamin ate the second slice of the pizza he received a message from Shane.  It was just a poster of the next concert he was going to play.

He wondered if he texted in the break of sex with Steve and got annoyed with the thought of it. His cellphone beeped with another message.

“I fell asleep and had a dream about you dancing  _Roxanne_  with Mozart. Steve left. The music gods are punishing me”

Jamin caught himself happy with Shane’s misery and wondered why.

He didn’t go to the concert but he knew somehow, Shane was a song to be heard in the future. 


	2. Ghost of Christmas Present

Shane’s knee was creaking.

He tried to feel the bone over the fabric of his pants, as if his musical fingers could have medical powers too, but nothing happened. Thorgy was properly packed and Shane was ready to rest for what’s left of the night.The dressing room was filled with the cast of Christmas Queens de-dragging and Shane observed Sharon talking to her fiancé on the phone.

_The scene was fading out, covered in a white fog... and then Shane was transported to his apartment in Brooklyn._

Many Christmas ago, he caught Sharon and Alaska making out in full drag in his couch. Their first time. His first couch bought with his own money. They didn’t bother with his presence and Shane’s younger version was too drunk to care too. The blurred memory vanished when he heard the beep of a message from Jamin. He checked the phone and browsed the conversation to see a picture of a white translucent fabric.

Shane immediately texted him back:

“You’re the slowest seamstress I know. It looks fucking gorgeous though.”

Jamin was typing back right away and Shane bit his lower lip in anticipation for his answer:

“I don’t have you here to help me. You left me to rot in Brooklyn and I’m taking I.V coffee shots. Ghostbusters is on TV.”

Shane let go a deep sigh and all the blathering and noise in the background was blocked. Even Katya’s loudest cackle.

“I wish I could rot with you. I’m so horny. I jerked off like tree times today, my wrist was too sore to play the violin. O’ Holy night wasn’t so holy” he typed and his grin was growing bigger by each word.

“Thorgles…” he begin to write and then stopped making Shane laugh. He could almost see his face getting flustered. “This is… so wrong… and…I can’t believe I’m turned on. You’re terrible. I miss you.”

Shane squeezed the phone tighter with both hands, closing his eyes. He looked for an emoji to use but he never uses emojis. The uncharacteristic lack of words called for desperate measures.

“Thorgy!” Katya appeared behind him, squeezing his shoulders and he jumped startled on his seat. 

She was more Brian than Katya. All boy but the make-up still done. “Cigarette musings outside?” Brian asked luring Shane showing the pack on his hands. 

“Sure!” he replied putting the phone inside his bag and leaving it on the dressing room mirror balcony. He grabbed his bottle of beer that was lying there before the show and took it with him. 

They went outside the building, but preferred the buffet’s exit to not bump with possible fans on the way. The location was discrete but the cold wind hit them hard, and Brian was wearing shorts and flip flops.

“This is the top of bad decisions I’ve made today…” Brian blurted out shaking from head to toe. “ _But it’s the most wonderful time of the year, Barbara_ ” he completed using the voice of his alter ego, moving around trying to be warmer and lighting his cigarette.

“I’m never cold, Norwegian blood, bitch” Shane answered lighting his on too  and drinking a huge portion of beer. “You should try, you know, shoes?”

Brian started laughing and jumping.

“And ruin these challenging winter looks, mama? No-huh!”

Shane chuckled and sat on the sidewalk. The muffled sound coming from the theater was a remix of Tchaikovsky’s  _Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy_. Brian started dancing ballet in front of him.

“You must fucking hate these beats violating Tchaikovsky purity. He’s known, he’s like that one daddy that goes to the clubs right after the court and still is wearing his suit of the 19th century.”

Shane shook his head giggling.

“I’d fuck him for sure. I’m a slut for 19th century tailoring” Shane added shrugging.

“I’m happy that you’re finally laughing. I’ve noticed you’ve been a little down these days. Girl, I’m one season older than you and I recognize when life is leaving our stretched, covered in glitter and dust, and squeezed back in spandex bodies. Tours are amazing. But they suck too. And you feel bad and ungrateful to think that because at the same time we’re blessed?”

“Right? But my knee is killing me today” Shane agreed and drank a bit more. The beer tasted awful but the smoke was helping. 

“Stop crawling around on the floor, bitch. You’re not an Olympic gymnastics female champion like me. Your Julia Roberts legs in  _Pretty Woman_  are not for this gig”

Shane cracked up and then went silent as Brian danced around by himself. The vision he had earlier in the dressing room was still in the back of his head as he watched Brian twirling and smoking. The cigarette ashes still burning flying with the wind. 

“But it’s not the tour that is bugging me, really” he confessed still hesitant, but the alcohol pushed the words to come out. 

“Oh, is that the sound of a breaking heart that I’m listening to, Barbara? A drag queen is falling in love in the middle of a whirlwind again, oh shit”

Shane stared at Brian with a serious expression of someone that was holding back something and dying to come out. 

“Fuck, you are, aren’t you?”

“Let’s just say…I am. But you see, I’m not hurting or anything. Our relationship is great. I mean, we almost never see each other, and my insecurities almost ate me entirely at the beginning. But we’re kinda, against all odds, just going. That’s a great song for a lip-sync by the way, I should write this down.”

Brian sat quickly by Shane’s side on sidewalk for giving him full attention.

“Exactly!” Brian agreed tapping Shane’s arm many times. “I’m in the middle of something with Trixie. And I know everybody knows and we’re still figuring it out and it scares the 20% of life remaining out of me. You and I, we  both never chill bitches. You get me, you know what I mean? One Brian is barely enough for me to handle imagine two. And we fucking work together.” he stopped to sad laugh and smoke more. “ He is my favorite person. I mean, uggggghhh! The pressure. Out of billions of people I found my favorite human. Literally every day I think it’s gonna end because I’m me, and Trixie has stepped her pussy up. And you’re the first person and I’m admitting this without an invisibility cloak of sarcasm and meta, so I might have to kill you, chop your legs and give them to science”

Shane loved to have Brian around, because once you find an equal heavy talker it was good to just sit and listen. Too many mind tracks at the same time strangely in synergy.

They entered their parallel world.

“At least you guys can admit you’re in love with the invisibility cloak of sarcasm and meta or whatever this fucking means. He’s there, but I’m not there yet and I hate this. But I mean, you’re perfect for each other. Trixie will find a way to play this double Brian tune. Musicians always do” he winked for Brian and brushed his shoulder on his. 

“In  _Harry Potter_  they have the Invisibility Cloak but here’s the twist, you can’t cover the truth forever, because honey what you see…

“STOP” Thorgy interrupted Brian and squeezed his forearm harder laughing.

“And by the way, Trixie is obsessed with you. When season eight was airing, the bitch won’t shut up ever about how brilliant you were and she’s super excited about touring with you”

“Thank you” Shane replied using his teenage girl voice smoothing his eyebrow with one finger. “I love her. She’s the best…I just, you know. Had this mystic vision when I was watching Sharon talking to her fiancé earlier. I knew Aaron and Justin before Sharon and Alaska. And they were soulmates. And it’s kinda like, the end of an era, you know what I mean? I know they broke up ages ago, and it’s in the past. And it never bothered me, but today my memory decided to bring this back I don’t know why, just for the fun of fucking me up”

“Not every Kai Kai is cursed, mama. But I do see what you mean. They were the trail blazers of sorts, the power couple of kinks, and if they’re done imagine the poor souls behind them. But thank god we’re not them. This was just a vision of Ghost of past Christmas. That ethereal candle headed bitch.”

They both grinned and smoked more in silence. Brian stood up and stretched a bit while Shane observed him.

“You’re giving me Annie Lenox with this half baked face and mysterious wisdom” Brian screamed-cackled and one the producers of them theater called them in again. Brian offered Shane a hand to stand up.

“Come on, busted knees!”

Shane entered the dressing room again to pick up his things and checked his cellphone again. Jamin sent him a picture of the Stay Puft Marshmallow man from  _Ghostbusters._

“This should be your next Christmas look”  the text of the picture. He laughed and texted back.

“Snow backrolls realness. I love you.”

He held his phone next to his heart and followed the other girls.

*

Jamin was happy.

Beckie was constantly pointing that out every time she would see him. Like he was exuding a sort of energy. This Christmas was going to be very different from the last year. Circa the same period he was at home, full of expectations and rattled nerves about the shooting of the show, how the audience and the other queens would perceive Acid Betty. Would he see any familiar faces? Would they finally accept his drag?

Drag Race brought Acid Betty back to life, still heartless and scared to evade a new territory. Shane brought him love, in small doses, spreading silently in his blood stream.  

He felt whole again.

It was his first Christmas with the other Ru girls and he was enjoying himself. Even though there were protesters outside perjuring them to eternal damnation. [He remembered when Thorgy lip-synced  _Take me church_  dressed as Madonna in  _Like a prayer_.](http://bleeping-ufo.tumblr.com/post/150006214650/causing-a-commotion-thorcid-fanfic-yaaaaas-this) The taste of her lips, the adrenaline of kissing in front of everyone. His fingers squeezing her waist and pulling her closer in that obscene tight dress. He would certainly and gladly burn in hell.

He was checking his messages in the couch of the dressing room, ready to go the hotel after the show, and Brian was by his side playing the guitar while the other girls were talking and laughing. Trixie was allegedly his mortal enemy, so he was relieved she wasn’t near sight. Just Brian that looked twenty with that red cap.

He stopped looking at the phone to pay attention to Brian playing.

“I can play the guitar too. But I’m really bad it” he commented as Brian was  humming the notes of  _I will always love you._ Dolly Parton’s orginal take on it.

“That’s the standard sentence of anyone that plays the guitar. Jimmy Hendrix every day was like, I’m quitting this bullshit”

They both laughed, and then Brian started playing again. Jamin got hypnotized by Brian’s singing. The song was taking him far way, to a warm bed, Shane’s nape washing the dishes while complaining about taxes in the kitchen.

“I know I have a beautiful haunting and yet accessible voice and Christmas season is likely for drown in the memory lane but you seem far away, girl”

“Ahem…” he shifted in the couch, trying to get out of the situation but giving up on the way. “This song reminds me of someone” he replied shrugging and rolling eyes, “Someone very stupid”

“Aren’t they always?” Brian asserted him, “You see, that’s the fucked up beauty of Christmas. You are in this constant state of self-evaluation of your shitty existence and awareness of greatness of others”

“Do you have any plans for Christmas?” Jamin asked trying to divert the conversation to a less deep path.

“Since I’m gonna be traveling with these bitches here I’m having an early Christmas evening with Katya. We’re gonna do some grocery shopping and buy all the dessert Kevin ate in  _Home Alone_  and watch  _Party Monster_ ”

Jamin cackled and Brian laughed with him.

“You both are cuckoo birds. I’m happy to hear that there’s love after drag though.”

“I have no idea what are you talking about. Katya is the worst. We’re not actually in love. She’s more like a dead twin that I discovered I had inside my body and now I can’t have the surgery anymore?”

Jamin just nodded to Brian’s nonsense and he deep sighed.

“Are you staying with your dead twin for Christmas?” Brian inquired him.

“No, but I liked the idea of an early Christmas. He’s more like a lost twin that I’ve been neglecting my whole life and now we’re catching up”

“This conversation is getting very incestuous. But ugh, do it girl. Anyone that makes you remind of  _I will always love you_  is probably special.”

“Whitney’s version though” Jamin pointed out and Brian cringed.

“That’s disgusting and sweet. Let’s get out of here”

They both joined the other girls to get to the cars heading to the hotel. Jamin observed Brian walking in front of him with his guitar suitcase. The ghost of Shane in front of him with his violin case.

He was happy.

The realization echoed again like bells.

His phone buzzed inside his pocket. It was a message from Shane in another Christmas land filled with drag queens.

“I asked Naomi to fix something on my phone and she accidentally saw that picture of you. That one. Black beaded hood and nothing underneath. She knows and she can’t stop freaking out about it in the most Naomi fashion asking if we I already feel like you're my Acid Daddy. I’m drunk of course”

Jamin’s eyes widened as he read the message, but he was a little bit relieved. Even with that picture seeing the light of the day. 


	3. Chapter 3

An empty dressing room is naturally a haunted place.

Especially inside a theater and on a night like the season eight party finale. It was temporary filled with loud laughter, glitter and sequins, and thousands of wonders inside those magical bags. Shane spotted a black leather couch in the back of the room and took the chance of not having ten drag queens around to take a ten-minute nap.

As his body adjusted to the black leather couch he observed the dirty lamp on the ceiling. Theaters were haunted places for sure. They are constantly full with people in a state of sane madness, pretending to be who they aren’t and willing to do it.

A sort of gap in reality is created and all sorts of personalities come in and out.

He wasn’t Thorgy. But she would take over eventually. He observed the big heavy door at the opposite side of the room, expecting that maybe somehow someone would come in.

His eyelids were getting heavier….

*

Shane woke with Bob’s voice first very distant and then getting louder, in a wave of semi consciousness.

“Thorgy, we need to go, wake up!”

Shane got up startled and slowly was grabbing his things across the room. When they were at the door he looked back at the couch again and stood still, eyes locked in the void. He was sure someone was sitting next to him when he was sleeping. The perfume was still lingering.

“What bitch, are you seeing ghosts? If he doesn’t look like Patrick Swayze I don’t want to know”

Thorgy didn’t even blink. Bob was waving in front of his face and nothing.

“Hey! Ground control do major Tom?” Bob raised his voice snapping fingers.

Shane finally reacted and draw his attention back to Bob. He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Hey girl, let’s go”

Bob was staring him with dead eyes as he walked in front of him, “What a weirdo”

*

“I dare you to  _fuck me_ ”

Shane said leaning forward and his hand clenching on Jamin’s thigh. The few seconds it took Jamin to suggest any kind of response seemed to last an eternity. Time expanded in a cosmic realm of possibilities. Shane’s self-esteem persona was caressing the red button of abort when Jamin started his first words.

“Thorg, um, I- I…”

Barely he began the hesitant speech his sister Beckie was summoned behind him,  interrupting and making Shane remember to breath again.

“There you are! Jay…Chris is here, he is looking for you” she said worried and unaware of the tension between them and the puddle of nerves that Shane was. Jamin just exchanged looks with Shane,  many things on the tip of his tongue and slowly got off the bench in front of the bar counter.

“Sorry” he simply put it in the lack of understanding what he really wanted, rubbing sheepishly his forehead.

“Girl, relax. You should be with your boyfriend. Make things work out. I’m still an empty canvas but alcohol will paint me in all the colors” Shane reassured him for the sake of not leaving things sour. He raised his bottle as final statement and turned back his attention to the bartender.

Shane side eye Jamin leaving with Beckie  strutting by his side in the middle of New Year’s decorations on the floor, balloons and serpentine. A future warrior cutting through the obstacles of past.

He could swear there was a glimpse of desire for in those big blue eyes.

*

Shane woke up in a short of breath as if all the air in the room got thinner. It seemed like a horror movie scene, where the girl wakes up when the killer is about to give the final stab. His ears were slowly filled with Celine Dion playing in the background. He was on a black leather couch again.But instead of horror, the place was packed with Christmas costumes hanging around and men dressed as women. A good kind of horror.

Naomi was in front of him, still more Davis than Naomi, doing her brows in front of the balcony mirror. He turned his seat to see Shane and snorted at his pale face.

“Girl, you’re like, sleep goals” he commented drawing one sharp brow with the pencil looking at the mirror.

Shane properly sat. He was still wearing all his boy clothes. He took his green beanie and glasses off and rubbed his face.

“I had all these nightmares…” he replied in a still sleepy tone.

Naomi turned to him again and her face changed as if she was watching a puppy in distress.

“Aawwww you miss Betty” he realized, tilting his head to the side.

Shane scoffed putting his beanie and glasses on again. But indeed he missed Betty in every pore of his body. Shane’s mouth was terribly dry. He needed to drink at Jamin’s.

“I regret the day I gave my stupid phone for you to fix” he protested bitter standing up and sitting on a stool next to Naomi. He checked himself in the mirror and groaned. “I look like an actual nightmare”

“Well, I was #blessed. I can’t wait for the sex tape”

Shane shook his head not helping but to laugh. Bob was approaching them singing Celine Dion, already with his face done.

“Naomi, I told you to wake up Thorgy, if you let her, this bitch can sleep for days” Bob complained as if Thorgy was not listening to the conversation.

Bob noticed Naomi’s grin and squinted his eyes. “Are you still talking about Elizabeth’s dick? Jeeeeeeesus”

“Girl, it’s a beautiful dick. You should see the pic. That’s why she doesn’t even bother to tuck.” Naomi bluntly said and and Shane just whispered a very low “ _Oh my god”_ , just mortified with the whole conversation,  quietly fumbling his make up set.

“Nobody is going to see anything. I deleted everything” Shane just stated in his helpless defense.

“Awww, Thorgy is getting all hot and bothered” and then Naomi side hugged his friend.

“I hate you. I never liked you” he didn’t even move and was avoiding looking at Naomi. Bob was just laughing and finding it very entertaining.

“I’m sorry I’m being extra. It’s just that it is so cute. You guys are in love and shit. You’re a ship!”

“Girl, what the fuck is a ship? Nevermind. Don’t answer that. I need to get my face done” and he got off Naomi’s arms.

“It is your fault, Thorgy. You let a millennial kid go through your phone. You and Elizabeth are grannies. You can’t do nudes. You should sent pictures of you knitting doily collection. You know she sent me pictures of her new drapes yesterday?” Bob teased him already laughing.

Shane cackled because it was true just nodding.

“Yeah, I got the pictures too” he replied guilty as charge. Naomi was cracking up loudly with her whole body.

“You see. Adorable! And how come I never noticed that. Betty’s station was next to mine when we were taping”

“Nothing happened when we were taping the show, bitch” Shane clarified checking his cellphone still sat on his stool, legs over the balcony.

Bob raised his finger and interrupted him in the most Chocolate Cookie Chip fashion.

“ _Na na na na na_! I caught them almost making out when we were rehearsing at the Orpheum. Betty had a fucking ice bucket between her legs because Thorgy messed her up” and as Bob was talking Shane eyes were getting bigger.

Naomi opened her mouth surprised and grabbed Shane’s arm. Shane giggled proudly and raised his brows conceited. It was true. The sting of the memory of the unfortunate dreams was fading away.

_This is real. Jamin is real._

Naomi and Bob exchanged meaningful looks noticing the pinch of sadness in Shane’s face that was pretending to browse anything on his phone.

Then suddenly Shane heard a familiar cackle.

At first he didn’t care, but then he heard again and the other queens getting louder in the back of the room. He turned on his seat to see what was going on and could notice that there was someone new. The person was surrounded, and covered by Kim Chi’s Christmas tree dress and Pearl’s reindeer head piece.And then a gap was opened and Shane could see perfectly Jamin, wearing uncharacteristically all black, but the colorful sneakers, the hair the usual mess. Eyes sparkling when they met Shane’s.The blood was pumping fast on his veins and his stomach swirling. Shane wondered how people in love even survive with this constant nauseating state.

He turned to Naomi and Bob that were holding a grin.

“Merry Christmas, bitch. Santa brought you a man” Naomi replied clapping hands repeatedly.

“And be careful with this man. It’s quite moody and he bites you, there could be hallucinations” Bob added in a sarcastic tone.

Shane got off his seat and hugged Naomi and Bob at the same time.

“You whores. I love you very much” and he grabbed Bob’s arms, looking at him quite emotional. Bob knew it was bullshit.

“I swear we’re not gonna make out while you’re sleeping in the living room anymore”

“Biiiiitch” Bob released himself outraged while Shane was giggling.

When Shane turned his back he almost bumped noses with Jamin.

“Hiii” he greeted him opening a huge smile. Shane gasped, his mouth trembling a bit. Was he going to have a heart attack?

Shane wanted to wrap his arms around Jamin but Milk was approaching them and Bob noticed the lack of words of his talkative friend.

“Elizabeth came to bless our Christmas tour” Bob helped the conversation flow.

Milk was already in the circle fully dressed in his lavender jumpsuit.

“I was near here visiting relatives because of Beckie, and decided to see my sisters” Jamin went along. Shane was still visibly startled.

“Girl, that jumpsuit you wore. You gonna let me borrow it” Milk made her short comment and left them to continue doing her make up.

Jamin was staring at Shane finding it amusing how quiet he was. Naomi put her arms around Jamin’s shoulders, side hugging him, and he wrapped one arm around Naomi’s tiny waist to look at Shane too.

“Hi Bambi. I heard you saw me in an unusual lack off clothes” Jamin brought up the elephant in the room with no shame.

“Yes gawd. I’m still stun” he answered and Thorgy turned back to the balcony sorting his brushes for the fifth time.

“Guys, we finally made it. Thorgy finally shut up” Bob teased raspy laughing and praising with arms in the air.

Jamin felt bad about his boyfriend new shy traits and reached for him, rubbing his arms behind him, taking the chance to feel his scent. Their eyes crossed in the mirror reflexion. Shane turned to face him and Jamin continued rubbing his naked arms. His palms were soft and they were making  his pale skin hot and red.

“I’m processing this shy side of you. It’s unbelievably cute” he gushed giving a sweet half smile.

Shane deep sighed finally being able to relax.

“I’m shutting down. It’s a little overwhelming. You’re here. We kissed in that bathroom on New Year’s eve. We’ve made out in that couch at the theater”

Jamin didn’t understand why Shane was revising those facts in memory lane out of the blue. But Shane was one to always be discovered.

“Thorg, is this a time travel movie game or something? But yes. And  _yes._  And hopefully we can make out a lot tonight in a more comfortable place?” he suggested raising his brows.

_Jamin is real._

His hands are firm and his fingers left prints marking  Shane’s sensible skin. Dreams are sometimes simply dreams. No greater wisdom.

“Yes please” he urged picking up his long and beaded Christmas costume that was hanging on the chair next to them. He buried one finger in Jamin’s chest.  "I want you to fuck these Christmas trousers out of me" he commanded and that was enough to make Jamin’s cock twitch in his jeans.

Slutty Shane was there again.

*

After the concert the queens were too excited and too drunk to get back to the hotel. Shane had three beers and one shot of whiskey even before they got there. Jamin was reasonably sober and asked if he wanted to go to the hotel but he knew his boyfriend. Thorgy was a social butterfly and with a bunch of queens enticing him, of course he’d decided to join them.

They went to the nearest club of the hotel. As the queens were on the sidewalk outside the club chatting, a group of people started to gather around them. Shane seemed far away and reached for Jamin’s hand unconsciously. Jamin was aware of the gesture but he didn’t mind to warn him about public affection. He wanted all the affection he could get from Shane.

He squeezed Shane’s warm hands and kissed his knuckles. Shane finally noticed it and and smiled acknowledging the sweet gesture. The other queens were all over the place to notice anything, but Naomi made a heart with her hands when noticed them entwined.

*

Drag race groupies is a thing that exists.

Especially when there are so many of them together in one place. One in particular, a short and very attractive young man, noticed that Acid Betty was really hot out of drag.

The boy came along with Naomi’s date and he was very defensive trying to cut him off politely but he wasn’t going to give up easily. Shane decided not giving in to jealousy and insecurity. He kept dancing with Roxxy and Pearl totally ignoring the twink that wanted to devour his boyfriend. Naomi reached for him in the middle of the dance-floor rolling eyes. Shane approached him, so Naomi could speak whatever he wanted in his ear.

“Girl, sorry about Paul. He is a super fan of the show and he is a whore. He has a serious daddy kink. Betty already told him she has a boyfriend but that seemed to make him even more thirsty? Like what the fuck”

Shane barely could focus and just laughed and pulled Naomi to dance too.

*

After a good dancing session to expel all the negative feelings of the awkward situation, Shane decided to get back to his table, where Jamin and Paul were talking very close to each other. When Jamin noticed Shane passing by he grabbed his arm in despair.

“Thooooorgyyyyy! Paul, eh, get some more drinks for the three of us. Thorgy’s glass is already empty” Jamin pledged pointing to Thorgy’s full glass. Shane noticing that his glass was not empty at all managed to drink the whole thing in one big gulp.

“There you go! Wooo!” he exclaimed  handing Paul his empty glass and then giving a little sass shimmy.

Paul squinted eyes at Shane suspicious but then smiled relieved.

“You wanna get us druuuunk” Paul stated oblivious caressing Jamin’s chest and Shane thought about one hundred ways of breaking his fingers.

The boy left them satisfied with himself shaking hips in those tiny jeans shorts. Shane leaned on the wall and deep sighed looking at Jamin that held a worried and hesitant expression.

“Are you okay?” he asked grimacing. “I’m trying to get rid off him but that boy  _reaaaaally_  wants my dick”

“Well…” Shane looked down at Jamin’s crotch and bit his drunk swollen lips. Jamin approached him pushing one of his dreads off his face and tugging behind his ear. He smiled exasperated.

“It’s whatever” Shane shrugged making a spot on impression of Trish.

“You’re hanging with Katya too much” Jamin chuckled getting even closer. His urge to kiss Shane was almost unbearable.

“Let’s go to the hotel already”

Paul's arms separated them almost shoving the two drinks on their faces. Jamin was legit pissed off and Shane cackled leaving them alone. He sat next to Milk that was texting his equally hot significant one. Shane observed his roman nose lightened by the cell phone screen.

“Girl, how do you manage a man like that?” he asked really expecting a formula.

“How do you manage any man. Period. I mean, in relationships there shouldn’t be double standards. We’re supposed to trust them only when they are in near sight? Bitch, if he wants to cheat he can get it right under my nose. No distance required”

Shane nodded in agreement getting hypnotized by the song that was playing. He recognized as Lana Del Rey and she was singing about her pussy tasting like coca-cola? Shane laughed at it confused.

“I guess it’s always like, you just hold you breath and jump right in” Shane added and shrugged.

Milk noticed that Paul was dancing and made Jamin sit to give him a lap dance.

“That twink is going IN!” he said laughing and Shane dare to look just to find Jamin’s widened eyes and  _what the fuck_  face quite amusing too.

Shane observed how seductively and feminine Paul danced around him and had a strange feeling. Stranger than the usual green monster.

 

*

Jamin was almost falling asleep as Frank Sinatra was singing  _A merry little Christmas_ inside the Uber’s car. Shane was drooling on his shoulder in deep drunk slumber.

 

*

After ordering burgers and a long shower Shane was revitalized again. He got out the hotel room bathroom already dressed in his pajamas shorts and an old black tank top that he always wear when he is doing make up.Jamin was sitting on a big, mustard armchair that was placed opposite to the two beds inside the room. Shane and Pearl were sharing it.

He was browsing on Shane’s notebook, the glasses on the tip of his nose. Then he got distracted by Shane putting up a portion of his dreads up, the blue bubbles tattoos showing. Shane looked at him aware of his gazing and chuckled suspicious.

“What?” he asked organizing the mess over his bed, just throwing everything on the suitcase.

“I just like… _looking at you_ ” Jamin realized with dreamy eyes removing his glasses and putting on the floor. Shane scoffed sitting on the bed.

“You’re such a sappy bitch” he disdained, his bare long legs open and leaning his back on the headboard. He looked like he was giving birth. “And these were the last famous words before Acid Betty murdered Thorgy Thor…” he  teased picking up the burger that was on a plate on the nightstand, taking a large bite.

Jamin smiled and draw his attention back to the computer. Now Shane was the one observing him and licking his fingers with the sauce that was falling out.

“Paul is very sexy. I’m never, you know?” then Shane made an orgasm face and growled touching himself. “When I try to be sexy I always end up embarrassing myself”

“Shane, Thorgy has many comic sexual numbers. You have a whole number about weird sexual fantasies” he pointed out not buying it.

“Exactly. They're above all comic. And Thorgy does this numbers. I always, I don’t know. I’m aware I’m not sexy and I’m goofy looking”

Then he continued eating the burger licking his fingers, one by one.

Jamin eyes were fixed on them.

“Well, you’re fucking sexy right now”

Then Jamin put his notebook away, and Shane sneered in disbelief. Jamin tapped on his thigh inviting him. Shane giggled in an adorable way and that was enough to make Jamin hard. Shane cleared his throat and cleaned his fingers with the napkins on the plate.

“I’m waiting for you to hop on, bitch” Jamin ordered annoyed with his delay.

“Oh, you think I’m that twink” Shane stood up and walked slowly into his direction. “That you’re getting a lap dance and you’re gonna be my daddy…” he joked with a very seductive tone then burst into laughter. “I can’t…” he shook his head.

Jamin continued very into it.

Shane was kneeling before him and reaching for his waistband.

“Are you going to treat me right, daddy?” he teased again removing Jamin’s pants out  in a quite abrupt manner. Jamin was speechless with the whole thing. He knew Shane was just playing around but he was fully into the fantasy. 

_His cock completely hard._

“Well, I guess my work here is done” Shane just stated looking at Jamin’s tent made of his briefs.

“Not even close”

Jamin leaned and grabbed Shane by the wrists so he could finally straddle him. They melted against each other with the urgency of an apocalypse Christmas night. Shane had Jamin’s face cupped in his hands and was sliding with no hurry on his erection under him. The fabric painfully and deliciously separating their skin.

“Merry Christmas, daddy” Shane whispered and with his tongue sticking out of Jamin’s mouth.

“I don’t know, you’ve been a very naughty boy this year…I’m not going to get you any presents…” Jamin's deep voice was raspy while he was kissing Shane's neck and focusing on the circle tattoo of his shoulder. Shane arched his body, pressing his own erection in Jamin’s stomach.

Jamin slapped and grabbed with a handful Shane’s ass making him jerk and laugh at the same time.

“I still have to perform tomorrow bitch. I still need my ass to sit and get tips”

They both giggled at each other’s mouth when they heard the room lock opening.

Pearl was inside.

It all happened so fast and there was no way they could shift position because Jamin had no pants on and the damage was already made. They just stood there like porn statues. But at least Shane was still fully clothed.

“Oh” Pearl just uttered noticing the scene. Jamin had his face buried in Shane’s chest. “Girl, I didn’t know you had someone” Pearl commented peaceful and drowsy, just grabbing some things over her bed and not looking at them. “I’m high as fuck so I’ll probably not even remember this”

They continued in silence and still.

Shane was looking over his shoulder with a cheap smile and sweat on his forehead.

“I’ll be back in like 40 minutes? Is that enough for you?” he asked absently as if Thorgy was doing the dishes and not straddling his half-naked boyfriend.

“Yeah!”

Jamin’s voice came out muffled in Shane’s chest. Pearl just nodded and left closing the door. Shane’s hands were covering his face laughing like crazy and Jamin too.

“What the fuck!” it was the only thing he could manage to say in his fit of laughter.

“Do you think she recognized me?” Jamin asked, his face all flustered from smiling too much.

“Pfff. That bicth? No way!” Shane tranquilized him and let go a deep breath. Jamin was still looking at him like before he was interrupted, stroking the length of Shane’s back and cupping his ass. “I can’t believe you’re still hard”

“I am, and please just fuck me already. I feel like all the blood on my body is in my crotch right now”

Shane was impressed and felt very flattered by the fact. He got off the heat and puddle of them, just to grab some lube he had inside his bag. He removed his shorts and left it on the floor, but the tank top was still on. Jamin was dying in anticipation. Shane devilishly knelled in front of him again, applying the lube on his cock, and tuning in slowly, peering at his face pursing his lips.

Shane leaned forward as if he was going to take him in his mouth and then stopped. Jamin whimpered feeling his hot breath so close to him, his cock throbbing wrapped in Shane's hands.

“I hate you” Jamin groaned desperate. “ _Shane._ As much as I enjoy this. A LOT. We have 30 minutes, remember?”

“Oh shit!” he recalled breaking the sensual mood and started stroking Jamin’s cock harder putting more lube and Jamin grimaced. “Sorry!”

“Just do it already” he ordered in legit despair.

Shane giggled, and positioned himself wasting no more time.

He smiled, eyes full with love for him and lifted himself up and down observing Jamin closing his eyes and pulling him closer. Jamin let Shane set the pace, hands on his hips, supporting him rather than guiding. His eyes were drift shut and brow furrowed moaning low with pleasure.

Shane put his arms around Jamin’s neck, almost suffocating him, but finding the perfect way to ride him, firm with a steady rhythm.

“Fuck…” Jamin muttered kissing Shane’s chest biting his shirt and when he raised his head to catch a breath he pulled Shane hair to look into his eyes and they kissed again. And Shane was planting many of them on his cheeks, his damp forehead, grinding himself into him.

Shane pulled Jamin’s hair too and whispered serious in his mouth.

“You’re my daddy and only mine” he reassured possessively. Then smiled again and Jamin  was beaming to find his Shane again, thrusting harder. He reached Shane’s cock and was stroking along making him melt inside his embrace.

“Not yet” he ordered in Shane’s ear and he suffered feeling even more aroused with his command, fighting the urge to climax.

After a few more thrusts, and Shane almost fainting over him, Jamin nodded giving Shane permission, encouraging his fearless rider to finally have his release. He was spasming moaning sweet nothings, curling still with Jamin inside him. Shortly after Jamin followed his wave of pleasure. 

They both stayed panting, locked bodies with sweat as a Christmas carol started playing outside the street covered in snow. Shane removed himself from him just to sit by his side, in a side embrace, putting one leg over his lap.

Jamin shifted position, taking off  his t-shirt that was completely stained and cleaned the drops that were on Shane’s legs too. Shane nuzzled his nose in Jamin’s neck as a thank you note. He got the best Christmas gift ever.

_Jamin was real. Solid, warm and full of love._

“We have ten minutes left” Jamin whispered still a little bit breathless noticing the clock on the wall, playing with one of Shane’s dreads.

“We can shower and invite Pearl to watch  _Scrooged_ on Netflix” Shane suggested and then Jamin kissed his forehead laughing.

The choir was still singing outside, the heavenly sounds being taken by the wind until the next Christmas.

 


End file.
